The "Guilt Trip to Mexico" Aztec Calendar Bracelet: $1,155.00 MXN

This stunning bronze bracelet with 22-karat gold plate isn't just an authentic piece of Mexican artistry—it's Jill's favorite souvenir from a masterclass in emotional manipulation.

During a college spring break in Mexico, Jill orchestrated her most deliciously duplicitous drama yet. Despite knowing her best friend Haley had been sleeping with her boyfriend Brad (irrelevant, since Jill had been secretly hooking up with Haley's boyfriend Dakota for years), Jill saw an opportunity too perfect to pass up.

After an evening of tequila shots, Jill executed her plan with surgical precision: fake falling asleep, waiting for the perfect moment, then bursting onto the hot tub scene with devastated tears and the heart-wrenching line, "Haley, I thought you were my friend." The resulting guilt trip was so effective that Haley funded the remainder of their vacation—including this exquisite Aztec Calendar bracelet from a local artisan.

This adjustable 15.5 cm bracelet (with 3.5 cm extension) serves as Jill's gleaming reminder (she wears hers on the ankle) that strategic tears are more valuable than actual currency. On the flight home, while everyone else was sleeping, Dakota whispered, "Jill, you're terrible," her finger-to-lips "Shhh, don't tell" response was arguably more valuable than the gold plating itself.

Note: This item ships from Mexico. At these prices, the small risk of international shipping is worth it—much like how Jill deemed the risk of Dakota eventually confessing to Haley worth the free vacation. Do your due diligence when ordering internationally, as there are no guarantees you'll receive your items. But isn't that uncertainty part of the adventure?

If you decide to order you have to email them as checking out will not close the deal: info.malintzi@gmail.com

malintzi.com/products/pulsera-calendario-azteca?pr_prod_strat=e5_desc&pr_rec_id=fb3bd40b2&pr_rec_pid=4603702870125&pr_ref_pid=7187581698157&pr_seq=uniform