Men's British Style Closed-Toe Velvet Slippers

When you're the vampire manager of Underwood's premier vampire strip club Krush, your footwear needs to convey authority, sophistication, and a commitment to mid-century debauchery. Xavier's black velvet slippers—adorned with shimmering stones that catch the dim club lighting just right—perfectly embody his obsession with the 1960s Playboy aesthetic.

After spotting these Hugh Hefner-esque loafers in Zeuss's latest "fell off the back of a Temu truck" collection, Xavier knew they were the missing piece of his smoking jacket ensemble. Rather than paying the surface world price of $53.80, Xavier sent the new barback Joe to meet the Temu truck with a handwritten note that simply stated, "Don't kill him. I need him to work a double." Joe didn't fully grasp the meaning of this cryptic message until Zeuss finished feeding and casually handed him a shoebox, leaving the human wobbly-kneed but technically alive enough for his upcoming shift.

The closed-toe British style design offers just the right amount of vintage class for a vampire who keeps a dog-eared collection of original Playboy magazines in his office and insists on calling female employees "bunnies" despite multiple HR complaints (which, in a vampire establishment, typically involve actual blood). Xavier glides across the club floor in these slippers while adjusting the perfect dimness of the lights and reminding everyone that "death was classier in the '60s."

Perfect for prowling around your office with an empty pipe, pointing out historical inaccuracies in Mad Men episodes that you personally lived through, or lounging in your replica Eames chair while explaining to newly-turned vampires why the blood of people who listened to vinyl tastes better than those who stream digital.

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