DUSTY'S "DO THESE JEANS MAKE MY BUTT LOOK WEIRD?" JEANS

These Eco Straight Jeans by Guess aren't just sustainable denim—they're the foundation of Dusty's carefully calculated "casual" look and his favorite vehicle for compliment fishing. Meticulously selected after trying on 37 pairs and photographing each from multiple angles, these are the jeans he "just grabbed" before heading out.

The slim fit with straight leg perfectly showcases his action-star physique while appearing completely effortless, allowing Dusty to innocently ask, "Do these make my butt look weird?" at least three times per outing—despite knowing exactly how good they look. He's memorized the precise moment to pose this question for maximum validation and minimum eye-rolling.

Dusty keeps these medium-rise jeans in rotation for everything from "impromptu" fan encounters to those coffee runs that mysteriously always coincide with industry executives' schedules. The intentional whiskering and strategic fading were selected to suggest an active, adventurous lifestyle while actually never coming within 50 feet of any genuine physical labor.

Eco Straight Jeans | GUESS

The 15" leg opening provides the ideal silhouette for Dusty's signature move: the casual lean against expensive vehicles (both his and others') while pretending to take important calls. He's practiced the pocket-hand-slide gesture for these specific jeans in mirror sessions he'll never admit to.

When complimented on his sustainable fashion choice, Dusty will launch into a rehearsed speech about "doing his part for the planet" that somehow circles back to his own reflection in the nearest surface. "I'm just trying to save the world," he'll say, "one perfect-fitting jean at a time."

• Note: The 2% elastane provides the flexibility needed for Dusty's impromptu flexing whenever he passes reflective surfaces in public.

Eco Straight Jeans | GUESS