Birkenstock Kyoto Sandals - Vampire Vengeance Edition

When you're a 450+ year-old vampire and your eternally bored, movie star paramour starts scheduling late-night "pool cleanings," sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands—and feet. After Jay discovered Evangelyne's little arrangement with the college-aged pool boy Chase, he decided two things: dinner was served, and his footwear needed an upgrade.

These sleek Birkenstock Kyoto sandals feature a minimalist wrap-style suede strap that Jay finds "very now," despite Evangelyne's hissing assessment that they "look like something a 20-year-old would wear." The irony wasn't lost on him as he adjusted the hook and loop closure, still slightly sticky from his impromptu midnight snack.  "What do you know about 20-year-olds?  She snarled a reply, "Nothing!"

The contoured cork footbed molds to your foot over time—perfect for immortals with centuries to break them in—while the lightweight EVA sole ensures silent stalking of unfaithful lovers and their poolside paramours. And as Jay smugly notes, when purchased in black, they never show blood stains!

Perfect for midnight prowls, casual day wear, or disposing of your partner's indiscretions while maintaining immaculate style. Because when your moral compass has been collecting dust since the Renaissance, your footwear shouldn't suffer the same fate.

Available in "Just Had Breakfast" Black. Pool boy not included.

Birkenstock Men's Kyoto Sandal | Urban Outfitters